How I felt about being childless had been a slow insidious creep and background hum in my life for over 25 years.  During that time, my body was often telling me to do something about moving my life on, but I didn’t listen.  I had chronic inflammation, my body was even attacking itself with my own antibodies, and still I didn’t listen . 

And then at the age of 55, I woke up bolt upright one morning, having had a vivid dream, one of those dreams that stays with you; one that won’t leave you alone.  Even now, years later, I can recall it clearly in my mind’s eye.  In this dream, I was standing naked on this black lumpy earth, as if it had been scorched by fire and left lifeless.  When I looked down at my body, I was witnessing my feet starting to melt into the earth, like an ice lolly on a very hot day.  And then my ankles were melting, and then my calves and knees.  I remember feeling helpless to stop my body from melting in this way, and it was only when this dissolving of my body was reaching my heart area that I woke up from the dream, with a sudden start. 

It was as if there was this strong unconscious desire to protect my heart, as if my dream was trying to warn me that I was in danger of giving up on my life.  And that was the very morning that I decided to change.  Enough had finally become enough.   I had finally heard and understood the message after all those years of not paying proper attention.  It was time to face that sadness I felt, to face that loneliness I felt, and to start doing something about feeling too damned tired all the time, all as a result of being stuck in my childless status.  

The biggest gamechanger for me was learning how to take care of my self-care.  That finally culminated in qualifying as a certified health and wellbeing coach and now my passion is to pay it forward somehow, to empower others to take a similar path and bring healthy and sustainable habits into their lives so that they too can rise up and find their own pathway to a life that matters to them, and once again hug their lives to welcome back in a life full of promise and joy.